Okay, I’m trying to be a good American and get on board with this Olympic thing so I’m doing my diligent nightly tune-in and it turns out I have some questions. So, along with my partner in crime and best friend Helen here, I’d like to explore some of these topics.
1) Snowboarding: I foolishly asked if there is a half pipe, what happened to the full pipe competition? Helen wisely informs me that this would require a competition in a tube and so the “half” makes it not only more competitive and the tricks can be cooler, but we can also see what they’re doing.
2) Canada: Doing some recent research, Helen informs me that 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. So, while I don’t know how many kilometers that is, I think it means that the Olympics are almost happening in the U.S. so I can get behind them a bit more now.
3) Women’s Slalom: Okay, so I can’t seem get through this one without calling it “shalom” by mistake, mazeltov! They wear aerodynamic body suits but we both realized that this gives them no traction when they, and they seemed to quite a lot, fall down the hill. So, I’m wondering if they have a better chance at a world record if they just fall down right away or actually ski.
4) Back to snowboarding: I call it a costume or an outfit but I guess it’s more of the gear they wear in competition. We’re having a hard time figuring out the difference between what they’re wearing and pajamas. Why no slippery body suit for Shaun White (aka the flying tomato)?
5) Short track speed skating: Every time I see a story about Apolo “Oh no!!!” it kind of seems to me like he accidentally wins. Someone else falls down or gets disqualified and he’s a world champion. Now, I’m not saying he’s not a great athlete because I saw the training montage and he can run up a cliff in the desert and lift weights like nothing I’ve ever seen, but I just don’t get this sport. I don’t get how they don’t slice each other open with those big blades on their feet and I don’t understand how you win and I also don’t understand how they all look so calm like they’re just skating along on a Sunday afternoon in the park. Well, there goes another career option for me.
So, all in all I have to say I’m enjoying the journey that these Olympic games have become for me. I didn’t want to like them, but I’m watching and I’m enjoying.
God Bless America!