Friday, February 25, 2011

Forgive Me, It's the Meds Talking

A couple of days ago I hurt my back pretty badly and since then I've been stuck on my couch on some heavy meds and I've had some time to do some thinking. And there are a few things that I've thought of that I'd like to share with all of you. First of all, when I injured myself and had to go to the hospital, I took myself there and had to park in the parking lot of MGH. Now, not every person who goes in for an injury arrives in an ambulance, many of them are in my position and have to take themselves there. Well, having strained my lower back, I can't say that I was the most mobile person you'd ever seen. I finally found a parking spot on the top level of the garage and then had to wait until the end of time for the elevator to open up. It was cold, it was windy, and my back was spasming like it was nobody's business. So then I had to get off the elevator and walk through the obstacle course they set up to avoid the construction going on so I could enter the hospital. Then, guess what? Another elevator which took a year and a half to arrive. I finally get to the urgent care center and I have to stand in line to check in. My knees began to buckle and I couldn't hold it in any longer so I literally threw my ID card on the desk and said, "I have to sit down, I'm dying, let me know what you need me to do." And then I proceeded to sit down in the waiting room and sob like a 12 year old at a Justin Beiber concert. People brought me tissues and asked if I was okay and tried not to stare as I made a little scene. I'm not a pretty crier. I don't have one delicate tear that goes down my cheek, I'm a sloppy slobbering mess when I really get into my tear fest and that day was certainly no exception. The only person who didn't seem to have any sympathy for me was the nasty woman behind the desk who kept making me get up to sign things and to give her my co pay and to get my change. She was a real doll. So, what's my point? My point is that as an injured person, it couldn't have been more painful to ultimately get in to see someone to help me with my condition. So, I then I have to go pick up my Rx for my meds which I was so desperate to take but couldn't until I was safely at home. Well, the pharmacy didn't make it much better either because all of the back pain meds, patches, and other treatments were on the lowest shelf. Seriously, did anyone think about this before they put them there? Do you really think people with back pain can bend over to get those things? It's like putting allergy medicine in the middle of a pot of flowers. Stupid. But luckily they did have some chairs so I could sit while waiting for my Rx to be ready. But next to where I was sitting is the free blood pressure monitor and this guy lumbers over and stuffs himself into the arm cuff and takes his test. He smelled like a bottle of booze and a chimney so I suspect that blood pressure may be the least of his concerns at the moment. But, hey, good for him for at least checking. Okay, what the hell was I talking about? See, this is the effect of these meds, I lose track of what I'm doing pretty quickly. Okay, so I finally make it home and this is where it gets tough. I can't move, I can't walk, I can't stand up straight, I'm pretty much a lump on the couch where I'm forced to search Facebook for updates and watch tv in the hopes of seeing something that will catch my interest. All the while I'm trying desperately to not overeat so that I don't undo all the hard work I've done over the past 7 months to lose weight and get healthy. The story that keeps playing on all the news stations over and over is about this woman who ordered a pizza every day from Domino's and when she didn't for 3 days, a driver came looking for her and found that she had fallen. All of a sudden I realized that I'm not a "regular" anywhere and if I fell, who would find me after 3 days? Certainly not my neighbors, they'd be psyched. So, I've made commitments to talk to certain people at various times over the next fews days so that if I don't make our "appointment", they might suspect something's up. Now, while I'm happy that this woman is okay now, how come no one is reporting on the real story here which is that this woman ordered a pizza EVERY SINGLE DAY. Who's checking HER blood pressure? Watching tv all day has really made me realize how important it is for me to get the hell out of this house as soon as I can possibly get up again. I fear my mind is turning to mush by the second and when I start agreeing with Elizabeth Hasselback on The View, I know that something is terribly terribly wrong. So, those are some of the things that I've been thinking about over the past few days. If I rambled and didn't make sense, please forgive me, it's just the meds talking.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I wish I was there to help! Hope you feel better soon, and glad you wrote a post - you are too funny!