"Pissing" Me Off

So, I thought my cat and I had an understanding. If I go away for 2 nights and come back, she is okay with her food, water, and litter box if all three are replenished before I depart. We’ve done this before and we’ve been just fine. If it’s any longer than that, I arrange for someone to come check on her and bond so she doesn’t feel abandoned. Well, apparently, Elphie decided that this past weekend wasn’t going to work for her and she decided to send me a little message about my recent travel, ON MY BED!!! Yup, that’s right, a little yellow message to tell me that she will not be forgotten. Luckily, it was a small message so I bleached the hell out of everything and it didn’t go all the way through to my mattress. So, why was she so surprised when I didn’t let her into my room last night? Shouldn’t she have known that she crossed the line and there would be consequences? Apparently not because, even with my hearing aids out, I could hear her scratching at the door and trying to get in. Finally, I relented because at some point I had to go to the bathroom and I wasn’t going to pee on my bed too. It seems clear to me that she only does this when I’m gone but wouldn’t dare do it while I’m there. So, today I went to Bed Bath & Beyond and picked up a mattress protector so that my lovely Jordan’s Furniture sleep lab special doesn’t get involved in our little “pissing” match. Yup, I picked up a plastic shield as if I were either an old lady or a young child with a bed-wetting problem. I know, I know, my life is pretty glamorous and you are all probably jealous about the exciting life I lead.