Okay, I’m trying to be a good American and get on board with this Olympic thing so I’m doing my diligent nightly tune-in and it turns out I have some questions. So, along with my partner in crime and best friend Helen here, I’d like to explore some of these topics.
1) Snowboarding: I foolishly asked if there is a half pipe, what happened to the full pipe competition? Helen wisely informs me that this would require a competition in a tube and so the “half” makes it not only more competitive and the tricks can be cooler, but we can also see what they’re doing.
2) Canada: Doing some recent research, Helen informs me that 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. So, while I don’t know how many kilometers that is, I think it means that the Olympics are almost happening in the U.S. so I can get behind them a bit more now.
3) Women’s Slalom: Okay, so I can’t seem get through this one without calling it “shalom” by mistake, mazeltov! They wear aerodynamic body suits but we both realized that this gives them no traction when they, and they seemed to quite a lot, fall down the hill. So, I’m wondering if they have a better chance at a world record if they just fall down right away or actually ski.
4) Back to snowboarding: I call it a costume or an outfit but I guess it’s more of the gear they wear in competition. We’re having a hard time figuring out the difference between what they’re wearing and pajamas. Why no slippery body suit for Shaun White (aka the flying tomato)?
5) Short track speed skating: Every time I see a story about Apolo “Oh no!!!” it kind of seems to me like he accidentally wins. Someone else falls down or gets disqualified and he’s a world champion. Now, I’m not saying he’s not a great athlete because I saw the training montage and he can run up a cliff in the desert and lift weights like nothing I’ve ever seen, but I just don’t get this sport. I don’t get how they don’t slice each other open with those big blades on their feet and I don’t understand how you win and I also don’t understand how they all look so calm like they’re just skating along on a Sunday afternoon in the park. Well, there goes another career option for me.
So, all in all I have to say I’m enjoying the journey that these Olympic games have become for me. I didn’t want to like them, but I’m watching and I’m enjoying.
God Bless America!
You mean Apolo Anton Ohno? I love how they constantly use his middle name. I also love how they can refer to him as Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing With the Stars Champion Apolo Anton Ohno! But did you see how the one guy fell and sliced up his own thigh in the qualifier? Ouch!
ReplyDeleteJeremy and I completely agree with the short skating comment. They look like they should all be coming out of it with tons of cuts. Our latest favorite is curling because MSNBC shows it during dinner time. Unfortunately both American teams have royally blown it. 0-3 but somehow still in the competition? I'm not really sure how that happens.
ReplyDeleteDid you catch the short track speed skating relay last night? What a mess, how the heck does everyone know where to be when? And what's with the butt push? I am stunned no one needed stitches after that race! Entertaining, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI officially give this post a "gold medal" - my favorite so far. The mogulers totally looked like they were wearing PJs and they hung out on COUCHES after their races - but only the medal contenders - the rest had to sit on the ground (kidding, no idea where the losers went).
ReplyDeleteI personally hate the snowboarder's costumes (they are costumes right?) ski pants that look like oversized rapper's delight dirty jeans. Bogus. And although I was initially turned off by the opening ceremonies (snorefest with Slam poetry and hopping natives) I am now enjoying the downhill wipeouts and ice arena drama. Great post Nat! Keep 'em coming.
ReplyDeletep.s. The Vancouver icon bears a striking resemblance to my post holiday body shape (especially the giant yellow thigh) but not necessarily to a fit and trim winter Olympian. What were they thinking?
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