The Worst Job

Okay, so today I'm getting an MRI on my knee to see what's really going on so we can fix it already. Well, as part of the prep for the procedure I received a phone call from the MRI center asking me just a few questions... In a matter of fact tone, the delightfully unchipper person on the other line proceeded to ask me the following:

Do you have diabetes?

Do you have heart disease?

Do you have a metal plate in your head?

Do you have any screws, pins, or other metal in your body?

Are you on dialysis?

Do you have shrapnel in your eyeballs?

Do you have a personal history of cancer?

Do you have a blood disease?

Do you have any artificial limbs?

Then I started to lose focus as she continued down the line of incredibly depressing questions and I could have sworn I heard her say:

Have you lost the will to live?

Do you know the meaning of life?

Do you have "daddy" issues?

Have you ever exhibited violent tendencies?

Turns out I passed whatever test I needed to in order to have the pleasure of sitting inside a machine for 20 minutes and getting pictures taken of my knee. They asked more questions in preparation for my MRI than I was asked in order to get my license, passport, mortgage, and acceptance to college!

The thing is that you can't really make the questions they have to ask sound any better than they are and if I couldn't put my personality into my work then it would be the worst job in the world for me to be the MRI prep lady! Now, I'll just have to remember to take my hearing aids out before we begin so they don't go flying across the room when they put the magnet on. Wish me luck, this visit alone ought to provide some material for a future blog.